The Cookie Reflex

I am about one week into a new experiment in time management. The goal is to accomplish more with my day by NOT logging onto the Internet first thing in the morning. Now if you don't spend much time online this may be an easy task for you. But for me it wasn't. Not at all. I may need to consider joining FAA. Facebook Addicts Anonymous.
Most mornings I wake up before my family with intentions of taking care of a few things around the house while they sleep . . . right after I do a quick check of my email. Sadly, I would discover an hour or two have flown by and nothing has been accomplished besides posting a few comments on friend's pictures of their cute pets or posting a video of a song I've had stuck in my head, watching the latest preview video for this week's Glee and other highly important, time sensitive matters.

Ah, the art of procrastination. Procrastination has always been a problem but now that I am working part-time I need to make better use of my time at home. Otherwise the next time you see me will be on Hoarders, nearly buried alive by laundry, paint chips, toys, cooking magazines and lengthy TO DO lists. Pairing procrastination with skilled rationalization can really get me in trouble. I can rationalize myself into believing that procrastinating is good for me. I whisper to myself,
"Look around, the clutter is overwhelming. You need to do far more than just pick up. You need to organize that mess and that's a bigger challenge. You know what will happen. Once you've organized the clutter you'll find a whole new mess underneath. Carpets to clean, floors to mop and walls in need of painting. The more work you do the more work you will find. You need to sit and rest a bit before you get started. Right here. At your computer. Maybe even Google the best way to patch that crack in the ceiling. Excellent reason to log on. Will only take a second. That's right . . . sink in, we'll take care of you. Relaaaax . . . "
Three days later I startle awake unsure of where I am and what time it is. My mind in a fog, like a stoner after an all night binge, staggering up the stairs squinting to shade my eyes from the sunlight streaming in the kitchen window. I hadn't worked out, I hadn't cleaned a thing and though some projects have been started not one was finished. Oh but the asthma inducing dust was thicker everywhere making me feel worse.

Which reminds me of a friend who likes to call pot "The Lord's Antidepressant." Always smile when I think of that. 

So you see, change is absolutely in order. So I devised a simple plan, a sort of experiment, and can report grand successes and abysmal failures. 
The Plan:
A dry erase board is strategically placed in our kitchen at the top of the stairs leading to the downstairs rec room. Halfway between my bedroom and the cursed computer. Each evening I  have written just a few things I want to accomplish the next day. Not huge projects but tasks I needed to get done to keep the house running smoothly. Could be just as small as starting a load of laundry or something bigger like balancing your check book.  Before allowing myself Internet access I needed to choose and complete two items from this list.

Success and Failure:
After one week I can report interesting findings which will be helpful for increasing chances of success in the future and hopefully changing my behavior for good.
Always write your list the night before.   If I went to bed before writing out the list, even with the intention of writing out the list first thing in the morning, I would fail miserably. I would go back to the bad habit of wasting hours at the computer screen. From now on I will always write the list before going to bed. That way the list will be there waiting for me. Encouraging me to make better choices.
Write down at least five tasks on your list even though you only need to complete two. That way you still feel like you have choices. Even if you choose the two easiest items those are two items you would not have accomplished otherwise. You may also be in a mood for one task but not another. Choices allow you to work with whatever mood you woke up with that morning. I have yet to wake up in the mood to clean the litter box.
Don't back down. Even from yourself.
I promised myself I would stand and concentrate on that board until my brain switched focus from the desire to get online to completing one of the projects on the list. Changing a habit takes a lot of effort. Especially bad habits. Just being aware of your bad habit is often not enough because the habit may have already become a natural reflex or reaction to certain stimulus. Extra effort is necessary to retrain yourself to a new way of thinking and acting.
For example, The Cookie Reflex. We have a clear cookie jar. What a horrible idea. I found myself, without even thinking about it, taking cookies from the cookie jar tragically placed on the same counter space I prepare food for dinner. The small bite sized cookie was swallowed before I had realized it was in my mouth. I never recalled making the conscious decision to eat a cookie or the desire for one. I guess I saw the cookies and the automatic reflex was to eat one before will power could even come into play. To be honest it freaked me out a bit. So first I moved the damn cookie jar to a place less accessible. Second I tried very very hard to be aware, to be present in the moment and then pause to ask myself if I really wanted the cookie or not. More often than not the pause was all I needed.

So back to my experiment.
I was astonished by how much I accomplished when I remembered to write the list the night before.
I would see it before walking downstairs towards the computer, would stop myself and then used rationalization to my benefit. Really, was I missing anything earth shattering? Highly unlikely. Would my email and FB home page still be there an hour from now after I checked a few items off my list? Absolutely. Each time I made this single simple change in the start of my day I accomplished so much more. Not just that morning but all day long. So I will continue making my list the night before because it works for me.
Attempting to make several changes at one time is almost impossible and sure to fail. Try to find that one small thing that could make a difference for you. Focus your effort on that one behavior or activity until you are satisfied. Then take on the next challenge.
Good luck one and all.

Read all about it!

I need to dedicate more time to reading since I have at least 5 or 6 topics I want to learn more about . . . and quick. So much going on right now it is difficult to split myself in so many directions and feel I am dedicating proper time and attention to any one subject or project.

• A new part-time job that hasn't been so part-time. Lots of hours.
• A seriously long list of home management and improvement projects
• Potential to start a consulting business assisting new small businesses with their marketing and other communications needs.
• A child who started preschool and returned to dance classes thanks to the part-time job.
• Looking for ways to foster her drive to learn to read without making her nuts.
• Trying to lower my husband's stress level which has been at peak for the last few years due to a constantly changing work environment.
• Squeezing in time to lower my own stress level while building self esteem through exercise.
• Oh and then there is the search for delicious yet healthy recipes the whole family will enjoy. 

The list just keeps building. A woman's job is never done.

Working Title

A talented friend asked me to guest post on her blog today. I am flattered to say the least. I know she is asking several blog authors to contribute, a cross promoting idea she has, but still I am touched to be in their company. Being a fan of her blog for quite a while now I find myself freezing up at the prospect. Fear! One of the biggest causes of procrastination. As my mind works on an ever growing list of ideas I am also working on an extensive press release for a company I am consulting for. Plagued with writers block I am so frustrated. Work like this use to be so easy for me. What happened? Husband reminds me I am out of practice and he is right of course. Getting back into the swing after not working for a year and a half is difficult. Of course, having a five year old constantly making demands while you try to focus doesn't help either. And then there is the guilt that trying to focus time on anything but my family is selfish. But most of all I think I spend too much time in my head.

I am very visual.  My imagination is a creative one and I visualize almost constantly. This habit makes me skilled at multitasking which can be great. I can reorganize my closet in my head while doing the dishes. But it also means when my five year old isn't interrupting my train of thought you can bet I am interrupting myself. Because my mind is constantly working I also have a gift for procrastination When your mind is accustomed to working on so many ideas at once it is hard to focus on just one thought and nothing else.

The ability to multitask came up in conversation with a gentleman who I would definitely describe as a smart, highly successful and accomplished entrepreneur. Even he admits that the ability to multitask is purely a gift only bestowed on women. A skill heightened when a woman has children. Men just can't do it. They can't focus on more than one thing at a time and they can't plan ahead very easily either. It's a miracle men have ruled the business world as long as they did. I replied that multitasking was not just a gift. To a woman with kids, working outside the home or not, the ability to multitask was a matter of survival. Especially when you consider we women are primarily responsible for creating and raising our species' children you can fairly say that multitasking is do or die. So we do.