I admit it, I ran. Just a touch of failure, or what I saw as failure and I ran away from the blog. Many things could have triggered my dash to the back door. A friend complimented what I wrote - "Oh God someone is actually reading this! What if my next post sucks?" Another friend who writes seemed to so effortlessly - "I'll never be as good as her, so why try?" After weeks of thinking through the purpose or identity of my blog I felt lost on a path full of bill boards and street signs. There seemed so much to say that I didn't know what to say first. Should the posts be published in a certain order? Will my writing seemed confused? Will my post be useful to others?
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Monday, December 6, 2010
Defining Moments
Ever think if you just got one major part of your life settled the rest would all magically fall into place?
This is truly what I expected. I expected the day that I found myself employed again that I would in turn find myself. Become complete. A fully functioning, highly motivated, gettin' it done machine. Even if I did not magically become all I want to be in that moment I would at the very least begin to surge with the energy, drive and laser focus needed to immediately begin working on the parts of me I wanted to improve. As if the new job title would give me a well defined path and the killer confidence to follow it without doubt. A drive to excell in everything I do, an iron will to succeed.
Um . . . Nope. Hasn't happened yet.
And I was so sure it would. Waited for it, watched for it, certain I didn't miss it. Since coming to the realization that I need to go after my dreams and not wait for them to come to me you would think I would know better. Just goes to show you we learn and evolve every day.
This is truly what I expected. I expected the day that I found myself employed again that I would in turn find myself. Become complete. A fully functioning, highly motivated, gettin' it done machine. Even if I did not magically become all I want to be in that moment I would at the very least begin to surge with the energy, drive and laser focus needed to immediately begin working on the parts of me I wanted to improve. As if the new job title would give me a well defined path and the killer confidence to follow it without doubt. A drive to excell in everything I do, an iron will to succeed.
Um . . . Nope. Hasn't happened yet.
And I was so sure it would. Waited for it, watched for it, certain I didn't miss it. Since coming to the realization that I need to go after my dreams and not wait for them to come to me you would think I would know better. Just goes to show you we learn and evolve every day.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Journal
A few weeks of not serious but life altering events have lead me to take stock, take time to think about what I have learned. Not what I expected which is always interesting to say the least.
Have been writing about it in my journal A LOT! What I like about writing in a paper and pen journal is that you don't get to go back and rewrite history. No delete button. So you can go back and read what thoughts were rushing from you at the time. Those thoughts, opinions may change. Of course many will. But you know, on that day at that time, this was what was on your mind.
The rushing thoughts have lead me to begin 6 different posts but have yet to finish any of them. Will work hard to accomplish them as soon as I can. Thank you for checking back.
Have been writing about it in my journal A LOT! What I like about writing in a paper and pen journal is that you don't get to go back and rewrite history. No delete button. So you can go back and read what thoughts were rushing from you at the time. Those thoughts, opinions may change. Of course many will. But you know, on that day at that time, this was what was on your mind.
The rushing thoughts have lead me to begin 6 different posts but have yet to finish any of them. Will work hard to accomplish them as soon as I can. Thank you for checking back.
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